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  • Writer's pictureDolly Llama

the hottest Christmas ever

From 2015 (and I still squint at it):

Just saw EMTs working on Santa. Heat stroke. DeKalb police saw a toy gun in his bag and emptied 16 rounds into his chest. DeKalb Medical Center ER docs can't see him for 11 hours but suggested urgent care could work for him. It seems North Pole health insurance isn't portable to the USA. Brown and Brown towed sleigh to lot in Chamblee. Vernon Jones is on his way to take out title loan on vehicle.

The elves are at Grady burn unit. Doctors cannot find where they're hidden, but word is one's been seen in the psych unit. Shouldn't have said he works for Santa.

The reindeer have been transported to UGA vet school. The trailer ran over Grandma. In the aftermath of Grandma's untimely death, three hunters reached their bag limits and high-fived over their good fortune. Eight 12-point bucks. Bought four nine-volt batteries to give to taxidermist who swears he can keep that red nose aglow. Good times.

Mrs. Claus paid $25,000 for a plane ticket. Economy class. Delta didn't care what her emergency is. ATL TSA held her up. Saw the collapsed gingerbread house in her luggage (thank you, Delta) and thought she's a terrorist. Trump's demanding her deportation.

APD traffic enforcement pulled Mrs. Claus' rental sleigh over for speeding and shook her down for 22 lumps of coal. Hoping to put enough pressure on her to make diamonds. Tom Shane's on the way with a platinum, Tiffany setting. APD does, indeed, have a friend in diamonds.

Mrs. Claus' run-in with Zone 4 has traffic backed up 12 miles.

Gov. Deal has alerted GDOT to prepare salt trucks in case the temperature drops 60 degrees.

WSB is reporting that before Santa lost consciousness, he cried "Ho, Ho, Ho."

I'll let that one alone since he'd just come from "lunch" on Metropolitan Pkwy. (call it what you want; it'll always be Stewart Ave. Amen?)

Happy Boxing Day from everyday life in Atlanta!

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